Standing on the rock that is higher than I

As we go through this sickness issue, I wrote my cousin Steve, who Jordan and Corbin will be staying with in a month, to give me some words. The following was my note to him which is then followed by his reply.

Steve, I need your teaching/preaching words as I go through dealing with why.... and what I should have done different. I do trust God and I know that that statement doesn't fit with the question why, It is more a heaviness that stops the fountain inside because I am grieving for my children. They planned for so long, all their funding went into this and they wanted to serve and bless and give ........ my mind swirls and I want to get it on the rock that is higher then me, please walk me through that. I know that you walked there many times your first year and I just need a little ministering.......... thanks.

Hey Shannon, my heart is breaking for you all. I can’t imagine how disappointed/confused/discouraged/frustrated/sad you must be feeling. You have put so much work and time and money and effort into this trip and to feel like it is being wasted by sickness must be really hard. I am afraid preaching and teaching won’t really be the best. I wish I could just give you a hug and pray with you and just cry together. But, you did ask for some words from scripture and our experience and so I want to honor you with that.

We have had some discouraging days recently with sickness as well, flu and cold and lingering cough and stuff has made us low. So, I can feel just a little bit of your trauma. Our first year here was very hard, like this. Humbling and hard and discouraging and painful and confusing in many ways. Obviously, we know that trials are to be considered joy because they test our faith and stretch us much like someone who is training for a marathon. You can do tomorrow what you can’t do today because you are bit by bit stretched by testing of your body. I think perseverance which is the result in that classic James passage happens only when our body is stretched by trials. Perseverance which enables us to run marathons with lots of training is also the thing which enables to do for God what he wants us to do. Perseverance is the key to putting us into a position to serve God faithfully, skillfully and joyfully. So, we turn to God and we find joy because we know that God is in control and won’t waste experiences. He is executing his plan. He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion. And so that is the only thing I can offer you now, in that we came to Africa to change Africa, but God used our time in Africa to change us, to break us, to humble us and to give us perseverance to do tomorrow what we wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise. Perhaps, that is more important to God’s plan, worth all the money and the time and the effort, for your children. I used to always teach during mission trips to not have many expectations because God’s plan is not yours, and he may use sickness, flat tires, difficult scary moments and lots of other things to teach you what you would not be able to learn otherwise… He is the author and perfector of our salvation. He is the story writer. For some difficult painful reason this is the story he is choosing to write for your kids. You didn’t do anything wrong. It is not your fault. I believe that their more Africa in their future, and perhaps he is giving them a taste of how difficult it is here. Perhaps he is growing them as they have to rely only on God and not have you and Chad. Perhaps he is using this time to humble them. I don’t know. I wish I did. His story is only a quarter way through. But I do know that God has used the suffering of last year to help me this year and I am sure what we are going through now will affect next year. If the goal is to glorify God, let Him decide what glorifies Him. (eph 2:10) The suffering may be more valuable to Him than your children playing with orphans and ministering to Africans. And the best thing you can do it surrender your expectations and your disappointment into the glorious, loving hands of their father and yours. It is not easy but so crucial to growing in the faith which builds your perseverance. . This mission trip to Africa is not all about them. He has some things to teach your family as well and he will not waste his experiences…

We are with you in spirit, truth, love, joy and pain…

Please keep us updated…

Steve

There is a saying that you will be no better next year from this minus the good books you read and the rich charactered people that you are around......... I thank God that my children are going to come home greater people for having the opportunity to be around these godly saints.

Thanks for following,
Shannon